Your Story is not Over

For those that don't know... We miscarried between my first and second child.

It happened in the bathroom- while my 2 year old was in the bathroom. I opened the window to my in-laws who were outside in the yard to take my child out of the tub knowing that I would pass out any minute. Even during a crisis- I thought about the safety of my child in the water.

Depression suffocated me. Many hours spent crying on the bathroom floor- flashbacks to 6th grade when I wanted to end my life.

But as the days progressed and I slowly took one baby step at a time- days got easier. Times got easier.

Pushing through constant loss and anxiety is not for the fate of heart.

Are you going through something now that you think will take you out? How many times have you cried on your bathroom floor or your bedroom floor- or in your car?

If I was to talk to the girl sitting on the bathroom floor now, I would tell her that there will be many more tears shed, many more moments of pushing through anxiety- many more moments of wondering "Was this all worth it?"

I am living proof that it is. Hold on tightly to your belief that life can be better. Use your sliver of hope to raise up someone else in need. Find your purpose in passion. Create regardless of popularity, finances, approval, haters, or fans. Create because you have to to survive- because you do this to make the world a better place and through that- you reinvent yourself.

I would say to her that your story is NOT over. It will NEVER be over. Your life is just stories that create chapters- chapters that create novels- novels that change the course of the world.

Development happens in the darkest places- like a negative from an old film camera that's full potential can only be realized through the process of the absence of light.

Keep walking through your dark spaces. Reach out to others working through their darkness. Serve. Love. Those small choices and daily decisions- that's how we change the world.